I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
