TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Drunk is a universal language darling
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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