This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
