My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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