would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
