Yo dont text me then not text me
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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