i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
