i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
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You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
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I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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