We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
