Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
