she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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