Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
