TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
