k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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