He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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