We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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