We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
