My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize