I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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