Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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