Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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