he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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