...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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