That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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