a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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