They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i believe in u and ur pee
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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