Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
