Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
