is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
How's work?
Spinning.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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