i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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