why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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