he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
