she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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