Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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