you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
