Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
