the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
