I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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