Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize