my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize