Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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