I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
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You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
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I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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