it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
