According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
