My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
