right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
