If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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