I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
