I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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