Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
