found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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