somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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