Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
