Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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