Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
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Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
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It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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