I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
