i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
