That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
