Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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