Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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