I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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