Sry I called you an 8
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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