Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
