the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
PANTIES FOUND
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