Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Even my vagina gasped.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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