We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
